which sentence should yves revise to make it more objective

Daniel Parker

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25-02-2025

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Which Sentence Should Yves Revise to Make It More Objective?

This article explores how to identify and revise subjective sentences to achieve objectivity in writing. We'll analyze a sample scenario involving Yves's writing and offer solutions for improving objectivity. Objectivity in writing is crucial for conveying information neutrally, avoiding bias, and building credibility. Let's dive in!

Understanding Objectivity in Writing

Before we examine Yves's sentences, let's define what objectivity means in the context of writing. Objective writing presents information factually, without personal opinions, emotions, or biases. It relies on verifiable facts and avoids subjective language like "I believe," "I think," or emotionally charged words.

Contrast this with subjective writing, which expresses personal feelings, beliefs, and interpretations. While subjective writing has its place (like creative writing or personal essays), objective writing is often preferred in academic papers, news reports, scientific studies, and other contexts requiring neutrality.

Yves's Sentences: A Case Study

Let's assume Yves wrote the following sentences:

1. "The breathtaking scenery completely stole my heart."
2. "The research clearly demonstrates the effectiveness of the new drug."
3. "In my opinion, the government's policy is disastrous."
4. "The data indicates a significant increase in sales."

Which of these sentences needs revision to become more objective?

The answer is sentences 1 and 3.

• Sentence 1 ("The breathtaking scenery completely stole my heart.") This sentence is highly subjective. "Breathtaking" and "stole my heart" are emotional expressions reflecting Yves's personal feelings, not objective observations. A more objective revision might be: "The scenery was visually impressive." or "The scenery was striking."

• Sentence 3 ("In my opinion, the government's policy is disastrous.") The phrase "In my opinion" clearly signals subjectivity. The word "disastrous" is also a strong, emotionally charged adjective. To make this more objective, Yves could provide specific data or evidence supporting the negative assessment. For example: "The government's policy has led to a 15% decrease in employment in the affected sector." or "The government policy resulted in significant budget overruns."

• Sentences 2 and 4 are relatively objective. Sentence 2 uses the phrase "clearly demonstrates," which can still be subjective. However, it's less overtly biased than the others if the research is indeed strong and supports that claim. Similarly, sentence 4 uses verifiable data to support the claim.

Strategies for Achieving Objectivity

Here are some key strategies Yves (and anyone) can use to make writing more objective:

• Avoid first-person pronouns: Eliminate words like "I," "me," "my," "we," and "us."
• Use precise and neutral language: Choose words that accurately describe facts without conveying personal opinions.
• Cite sources: Support claims with evidence from credible sources. This adds weight and credibility to your writing.
• Focus on verifiable facts: Base your writing on observable and measurable data.
• Avoid emotionally charged language: Steer clear of words that evoke strong emotions.
• Review and revise: Always reread your work to identify and correct subjective statements.

Conclusion

Achieving objectivity in writing is a skill that improves with practice. By consciously avoiding subjective language and relying on verifiable evidence, Yves – and all writers – can create clear, credible, and persuasive content. Remember that even seemingly objective sentences can benefit from review to ensure neutrality and avoid subtle biases. The goal is to present information clearly and allow the reader to form their own conclusions based on the provided facts.